10/6/7 - Community

Community

10/6/7

Communities thrive and flourish throughout the world with or without intention and in varying degrees of integration.  “So what exactly is community?” you might ask in your search for the ideal community or “Utopia.”

In my own search for the ideal community, I’ve been introduced to a myriad of communities—from my childhood immersion into the Mormon-based “Zion” communities or “wards” in Salt Lake City, to living for several years in a Mormon Fundamentalist “United Order” community in Montana.  I’ve also studied and talked with people belonging to other diverse communities including the Oneida Group, Huterites, Mennonites, Amish; communitarians living in Ananda World Brotherhood Villages and in Israel Kibbutzes.  All have their own stories to tell of their triumphs and tragedies in struggling to define what the meaning of “community” is in their lives.  I have my own story to tell of my journey of building our community at Higher Ground which I’ve entitled, Heartsong.

Nevertheless, I have yet to experience the real “intentional community” that I envision as a place of peace, love, joy and creative expression.  All of my life I’ve been looking for “Zion”—the pure in heart—to live.  Perhaps it is this longing that compels me to continue my journey into creating my own ideal community.  Maybe it has been your search too.  And so the search to define what community is has compelled me to write this article.

But first, let’s define from Webster’s dictionary what exactly the word “community means:  Community: common possession of enjoyment; agreement; a society of people having common rights; the public in general.

Also, let’s include some other words that are similar or form the basis for community.

Commune: to converse together spiritually or confidentially.

Communicate: to impart; to bestow; to reveal; to have mutual access; to have intercourse; to partake of Holy Communion.

Communion: act of communing; spiritual intercourse; fellowship; common possession; union in religious services; the body of people who so unite.

I find it fascinating that all these words have similar meanings.  Perhaps it is because they all come from the same two Latin root words cum or com which means “with or together”; and unus which means “one.”  So basically all of these words—community, commune, communicate, communion—have the same meaning or focused attention on the principle of “together with oneness.”

But how does the act of “communication” have anything to do with “community?”  In my search for community, I’ve studied a lot of books.  One of my favorite books (and authors) is The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace by M. Scott Peck.  In it he describes communication as the form in which we get to community.

The overall purpose of human communication is—or should be—reconciliation.  It should ultimately serve to lower or remove the walls and barriers of misunderstanding that unduly separate us human beings from another.  The word “ultimately” is important.  Confrontive, even angry communication is sometimes necessary to bring into focus the clear reality of those barriers before they can be knocked down.  In the process of community-building, for instance, individual differences must first be allowed to surface and fought over so that the group can ultimately learn to accept, celebrate, and thereby transcend them.

In our definition of “communication” it also speaks of “intercourse” and in “communion” of “spiritual intercourse.”  In today’s verbiage we consider this word “intercourse” as having sexual connotations.  Actually intercourse is defined as: a connection by dealings; communication; physical sexual contact.  In other words it can be the basis for any type of connection with another person, including sexual.  It can also “clear the way” for further intimate communion.

Of course none can deny the ultimate reconciliation or “intercourse” that we as humans can experience in the joys of sexual ecstasy.  But there is also a “spiritual intercourse” that is quite mystical and sought after as being even more intimate than physical sex.  Again, I turn to M. Scott Peck for enlightenment.

Mysticism,” a much-maligned word, is not an easy one to define.  It takes many forms.  Yet through the ages, mystics of every shade of religious belief have spoken of unity, of an underlying connectedness between things; between men and women, between us and the other creatures and even inanimate matter as well, a fitting together according to an ordinarily invisible fabric underlying the cosmos.

I’ve had first-hand experience with this mystical spiritual intercourse through my Native American shamanic practices and also through Kundalini awakenings in yoga and Watsu.  All I can say is “WOW!”  It is definitely something “indefinable” and must be experienced to comprehend.  I truly believe that the purpose for spiritual community is to create a framework in which to experience this type of ecstasy.  I believe that this was the purpose for Gnostic Christians or “Christian Mystics” to form community in the First Century Jerusalem Church.  In fact “community was synonymous with “church” since “church” is not a “Christian” concept as it came well after Christ.  The only “church” Christ established was the community of “all things common.”  In Acts 2:44 and 4:32 we read:

“And all that believed were together and had all things common.”

“And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but had all things common.”

And for those of you who have studied The Book of Mormon (I question its historical value but it still holds some undeniable truths for me; although I do believe it discounts a lot of precious, authentic Native American history) we read:

“And they taught, and did minister one to another; and they had all things common among them, every man dealing justly one with another.” (3 Nephi 26:16)

“And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.” (4 Nephi 1:3)

I have emphasized the phrase all things common as there are many Christians who believe these passages should read:  “all things common except for our physical bodies.”  So what am I saying here?  That our physical bodies are also shared in sacred communion when we live in a community of “all things common.”  Absolutely!!  And why not?

“What?  Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

“For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”  (I Cor. 6:19, 20)

Whether or not we believe that we “own our own bodies” or that they are “borrowed from Mother Earth and/or Heavenly Father” there is still the fact that as sentient, loving beings we have a great capacity to “love one another.”  And love can take on many forms which can include—but is not exclusive to—making love.  No, I did not say, “having sex” which is not even in the same category as “making love.”  What I’m saying here is that when we can totally surrender to the “spirit of love” or what I am convinced is the “Holy Spirit” then we are led to those whom this spiritual act of communion is appropriate.  Did you know that the original word for prayer is commune or communion?   Isn’t making love the most sincere form of prayer?  It is for me!

One of my favorite singers and songwriters (you didn’t guess it—Kenny Loggins) sings an amazing love song on his Leap of Faith album which he prefaces by saying:

“I always considered this a love song to love itself.  How could I say “I would do anything for you” to another human?”  Isn’t it demeaning to my spirit?”  No.  When true love appears all the old rules no longer apply.  Everything you think you know is wrong.  Protect no one.  Speak your truth.  Trust and let go.”

Love

Where are we going?

And when do we reach the promise

On the horizon?

Out on the ocean

Under a sunset

I was invited to come out

And play a while with magic

And move a mountain

Has anyone

Ever captured the sun?

Is the eagle ever truly tamed?

Given just a little time

I know that you’ll find a way

I would do anything for you

Give up the world I made me

And I’d take you away

Oh I swear from now on

To trust in my heart

And the vision

Of you in my life

My love

I will be faithful

But how can I make a promise

To a place I’ve never been?

Something is taking me on

And I don’t know if I will survive

But I believe that everything

I’ll ever need

Is here by the roadside

How can you fly

Keeping heaven in sight?

Blinded by the light of day

Given just a little time

I know that I’ll find a way

I would do anything for you

Listen with all my spirit

For ecstasy calling

And all I believe

Is all I have seen from the mountain

The view from the heart

And I would do anything for you

Give up the world I made me

‘N take you away

Oh I swear from here on

To trust in my God

And the vision of you in my life

Freedom is mine

One beat at a time

Where are we going?

I just don’t know yet

How will we make it?

I just can’t say

All that I know is

We’ve finally sailed away

Seems everyone’s

Made a prison of love

But if anybody can escape

Given just a little time

I know that we’ll find a way

I am safe

I am loved

I am free

When I first heard this song, I was fascinated with the three ending words of the song (which are repeated over and over again)—safe, loved and free—with regards to intimacy.  It’s really profound to me that Kenny describes these three characteristics for true love and intimacy to occur.  It makes sense that for us to completely surrender ourselves and our love to another person we must feel safe…we must feel loved…and we must feel free.  These three factors must be present in order for real love to exist.  Anything other than this feels forced or coerced.

Just for fun, let’s examine the three marriage systems we presently experience intimate love in and how they make us feel—safe, loved and free.

Celibacy—Celibacy is a viable marriage system and is popular among ascetics and sages who desire complete communion with God or the Holy Spirit.  Its popularity lies in the freedom one finds from attachment or commitment to another person as one is only responsible for one’s self and spiritual attunement with God.

Certainly we all begin life on the celibate path, and perhaps it is essential for us to first attain this communion or mystical marriage with God before ever engaging in any other marriage relationship.  This process of completing our own sacred circle or “becoming one” with ourselves before coming into communion with others is the ideal, otherwise we form co-dependent marriages out of default rather than choice. 

When we haven’t completed our own sacred circle before coming into marriage with others, we tend to draw from them the energies or elements we need in order to complete ourselves rather than gaining these energies or elements from our higher selves or God.  This becomes evident in marriages that become “sucky and controlling.”  Instead of based on safety and freedom, they are based on fear and manipulation.  Often, when this is the case, a period of separation is required in order for us to go on to complete our own sacred circles.  This period of being alone (all one) is the process of becoming healed, holy or wholesome so that we won’t try to extract from others that which we should seek from God.  Then, and only then, should we seek intimate mystical relationships with others as we can now dedicate our whole selves to a relationship in total surrender as we are complete within ourselves.

Monogamy—Monogamy is the preferred marriage system for most people living in the United States, although it isn’t preferred in other countries as statistics show that nearly 2/3 of the world’s population live in some sort of polygamous relationship.  Monogamy definitely has its advantages and disadvantages.  Its advantages include the safety and security of just one other person without the complications of plural partners.  Most people prefer this level of intimacy as they are still working through complex male/female relationship issues.  It is also the easiest and least challenging marriage system when raising a family—especially in our American society. 

Its disadvantages include limiting our freedom to explore intimacy with other partners outside of this marriage system.  Monogamy is very restrictive and can cause undue pain and suffering for those who want to fully express their passion and love to others.  Biologically (and I believe emotionally) we are created to be polygamous as our procreative drive warrants it.  Statistics show that men are most likely to have an affair when their wives are pregnant and/or nursing and women are most like to have an affair in their 40s or 50s when their sexual desires are at their peak.  What would our society look like if we simply gave into our natural biological instincts and allowed love and freedom to reign?  Could we feel safe?  Could we feel loved?  Could we feel free?

Polygamy—Polygamy has become a controversial subject as many believe it is a male-dominated marriage system, when in actuality “polygamy” simply means “having more than one marriage partner.”  I prefer the modern-day words of “polyfidelity” or “polyamory” to convey the meaning of “multiple partners/lovers” as these words do not contain the distortions that polygamy contains. 

One cannot deny the fact that this marriage system has been grossly perverted by designing men who wish to control the lives of unsuspecting women and innocent children.  Historically, especially in the Bible, we witness the consequences of this marriage system going awry with prophets and kings gaining power and wealth through its influence over others.  Obviously polygamy can become a powerful marriage system in society as there is power in numbers.  When people unite in intimate community—it can be a force to reckon with.  Perhaps this is why the First Century Christians were labeled “heretics” and exterminated in the Crusades and Inquisition as they were developing powerful Christian communities by “living all things common.”  Perhaps this is why most modern-day Christians denounce polygamy as being an “adulterous” lifestyle and persecuted the Mormon Saints for their early historical polygamous and fundamentally “Gnostic” beliefs.

I personally believe Joseph Smith had a genuine “gazing into heaven” experience when he witnessed the vision of what the marriage system of Heaven or the “Celestial Kingdom” was like.  He then introduced—or should I say reintroduced—the marriage system of polygamy to the Latter-Day-Saints living in Nauvoo.  The rest is simply Church History and consequently my own personal history as my Great Grandfather Thorne committed suicide while attempting to live a corrupted form of polygamy.  I have had my own personal history attempting to live that same corrupted form and I must say it has been my greatest learning experience with regard to intimacy.  It caused me to look at all of my control and jealousy issues which I couldn’t address in any other way.  Although the marriage failed (because it was based on inequality) I still strongly agree that polyamory is the marriage system that provides the greatest amount of growth.  It also provides the greatest amount of safety, love and freedom.

I feel inspired to complete this Heartsong Good Newsletter with a song from my favorite singer/songwriter (you guessed it—John Denver).  I feel that it speaks of the true meaning of love and surrendering to love.

 Hold on Tightly

Lost in a boat on the ocean

Lost in a ship out at sea

Lost in the dark of misfortune

Where is a light I can see?

Where is the highway to heaven?

Where is the love we all need?

Where is the peace that we long for?

Where is the man who is free?

Here in the heart there is freedom

Here in the heart there is peace

Here in the heart is the answer

To questions much deeper than these

You’ve got to hold on tightly

Let go lightly

It’s only surrender

It’s all in the game

If you just hold on tightly

Let go lightly

There’s always forgiveness

And no one to blame

Some will take fame over fortune

Some will take love over gold

Some will pray only for power

Some never want to grow old

Some see the day that is coming

Some only see what has passed

Someone will always be first in line

Someone will always be last

Here in the heart there is freedom

Here in the heart there is peace

Here in the heart is the answer

To questions much deeper than these

If you just hold on tightly

Let go lightly

It’s only surrender

It’s all in the game

If you just hold on tightly

Let go lightly

There’s always forgiveness