Recreation
2/4/8
By definition, recreation is
something we all love to do—isn’t it? Recreation: any play, amusement, etc.
used to relax or refresh the body or mind.
But just for fun let’s break down this word into its various parts: re = back; again; anew: and create=to
cause to come into existence; make; originate; to bring about; give rise to;
cause. When you put both parts together,
“re-creation” can mean to “make again.”
Can re-creation then become a powerful tool for transformation and
change? I believe it is!
This past week I experienced
what Gregg Braden describes as “the dark night of the soul.” I won’t go into all the details out of
respect for the parties involved, but I will tell you this. I had the opportunity to face all of my fears
regarding relationships—infidelity, betrayal, deception, lies—all of the dark
side of previous relationships that had caused me my ultimate pain. And pain I felt, although this time it was
different. This time I became keenly
aware of my pain—and the person who was causing it. My pain didn’t originate with the other
parties involved—it originated with me. All of the unhealed resentment and bitterness
I felt in all of my past relationships that hadn’t been forgiven, released and
healed came up for me. All the
insecurities, doubts, fears and resentments were brought up for me to look
at. Of course, the first thing I did was
to “blame” the other parties for the pain and turmoil they were putting me
through. And I tried to make them
responsible (able to respond) for the “unconscious creation” which they chose
to create. But learning from past
Masters, I realized (real eyes) that I had brought this experience into my life
for my own “enlightenment.” Because by definition en-light-enment is the
process of bringing forth that which is dark into the light. And this is exactly what the “dark night of
the soul” is all about—bringing the darkness into the light. Gregg Braden also expressed in his book, The Isaiah Effect, that we should
congratulate ourselves when we are going through the “dark night of the soul”
as it demonstrates that we’ve now acquired the tools necessary to bring us
through this painful process. (Thanks,
Gregg, but that’s easier said than done.)
The morning after my “dark
night of the soul” I woke up with the image of the twin towers being struck by
“terrorists” planes and their ultimate demolition. It was such a powerful metaphor for me as I
recognized my marriage as being those towers—the towers of Babel (babble)—being
struck by an outside “terrorist” attack and destroyed. But further investigation into the events
leading up to the 9/11 attack, I’ve discovered that it’s quite possible (in
fact very probable) that it was an inside job. That the owner of the Twin Towers actually
conspired to bring them down for financial reasons because they were no longer
serving his needs. Could it be that my
“monogamous” marriage was no longer serving “our” (Brad and my) needs and
therefore needed to be brought down to ground zero to take a closer look at
what we’d created and what perhaps we want to “re-create?” But before I get into the fun part of
“re-creation” let’s look at some of the belief systems which helped to create
my own “tower of Babel.”
Gregg Braden also stated (in
one of his books) that we bring into existence that which we believe and that
which we judge. Obviously, as most of
you know, I truly believe in expanded relationships and intentional
community. But I also believe there are
proper procedures that get you safely
from point A to point B (or Z in this case) without the casualties like
9/11. That there are “correct
principles,” if you will, we can align with which will bring us personal and
community integrity or “oneness”—and the ultimate joy that we all seek when
we’re eating out of the Tree of Life.
Anything other than that brings us great sorrow as we’re still partaking
of the “bitter fruit.” And so I realize
that part of my responsibility in bringing about this “unconscious creation” of
“premature expanded relationship” was my constant promoting of my beliefs
without including the “10-step program” on how to get from here to there. (Which is what I’m presently working on with
my book, Becoming One—the Journey Toward
God.)
But now let’s look at the
second factor that brings things into existence—that which we judge. Well, I
figured I’d gotten out of my judgments of what I’d been raised to label as
“adultery.” (The big “A” word for those
of you who’ve read or seen The Scarlet
Letter.) Hey, I’ve been labeled that word most of my “adult” life to the
point where I’ve broken the word down into the sum of its parts. “Adultery” comes from the root word “adult”
which everyone knows is the opposite of “child.” So what if we could sincerely become as
innocent as a child with the same type of wonderment for our incredible
bodies? Would we be afraid to explore
the fascinating world of sexuality? Or
would the “adult” in us shut us down to such an intriguing exploration? Well, it is the job of the “adult” to create
“safe boundaries” for children to play and that is why our Moms and Dads
stopped us when the exploration got out of hand. Perhaps there is wisdom in this. But now as “conscious adults” could we
possibly continue with that fascinating exploration into the uncharted
territories of human sexuality that we began as children? The very thought of it exhilarates me.
But let’s look at another word
which is similar in form to adultery—adulterate. Webster defines adulterate as “to separate
from that which is whole.” Now adultery
in this light of understanding becomes more clear. When two people “become one” in the true
sense of marriage, then anything that causes separation from that oneness or
wholeness can be considered “adulterated” or adultery. Clearly, the married partners should be
viewed as one unit because what you do to one partner ultimately affects the
other partner very intimately. Especially in terms of expanded
relationship. When one partner moves
forward into a loving, intimate relationship with another person, the other
partner is pulled along—willingly or unwillingly. If it’s willingly and with mutual
consent—then it can be a beautiful, expanded space which translates into
joy! But if it’s unwillingly and without
total consent—then it can turn into
heartbreak, separation and divorce.
These are the consequences of adulterating or “separating from that
which is whole.” A nuclear holocaust.
So since we’re trying to create “oneness” and
“wholeness” perhaps we might consider whether or not we want to “adulterate” or
commit adultery. Another thing which
adultery ultimately leads to is “the hide.”
Now here again is something to be looked at since in the spiritual
realms there is no such thing as “hides” or deceptions. Everything is known to God—and we are
God! So then when we lie to cover up our
indiscretions, it simply becomes a tangled web which we get to unravel. Or what Sir Walter Scott so profoundly put to
verse:
Oh, the
tangled webs we weave,
When
first we practice to deceive.
One lie simply leads to
another, and then to another, and then to another. . .and before you know it
your entire life is a lie. Not part of
the joy and bliss I desire to create in relationship or community. How about you? And so the disentanglement process begins as
we recognize what it is we don’t want
to create and move into “re-creation.”
In the Bhagavad-Gita we read:
Spiritual knowledge is necessary in order
for one to be free from doubt and delusion.
Nothing should be accepted blindly; everything should be accepted with
care and caution. One should practice
tolerance and forgive the minor offenses of others. Truthfulness means that facts should not be
misrepresented, but should be presented fully, for the benefit of others. Socially, people say that one should speak
the truth only when it is palatable to others, but that is not
truthfulness. One should always speak
the truth, even though it may seem unpalatable at times. Self-control means that the senses should not
be utilized for unnecessary personal enjoyment.
Sense indulgence is detrimental to spiritual development.
I’m not sure whether I believe everything in the Bhagavad-Gita, but I do believe that when we misuse and abuse our
sacred sexuality that our spirituality suffers.
The sex act simply becomes a “common bodily function like taking a shit”
I’ve heard said. Sacred sexuality on the
other hand, can open the gateways to heaven.
This act of communion (coming into union) is akin to worshiping in the
holy of holies in our temporal temples of God.
Anything less than this is a defilement of our temples and God will
ultimately destroy those temples.
But a word here about
passion. Passion is the strong emotions
which drive us forward to create. It is
a creative energy. But passion is like
fire—it can warm your soul or it can destroy you—depending on how you use
it. If passion is balanced with
“compassion” then it can be a powerful tool for transformation. The first is selfish—the second is selfless—the
balance is transformation.
Carl Jung stresses the creative
power that is unleashed in our sexuality:
The conflict between ethics and sex today
is not just a collision between instinctuality and morality, but a struggle to
give an instinct its rightful place in our lives, and to recognize in this
instinct a power which seeks expression and evidently may not be trifled with,
and therefore cannot be made to fit in with our well-meaning moral laws. Sexuality is not mere instinctuality; it is
an indisputably creative power that is not only the basic cause of our
individual lives, but a very serious factor in our psychic life as well.
Matthew Fox goes on to say in
his book, The Coming of the Cosmic
Christ:
Mysticism is the “yes” dimension, the “I am”
dimension, the awareness that “my fruit is mine to give” dimension. Justice is the “no” dimension, the “fortified
wall” dimension that the Song of Songs insists is a part of authentic love and
real mystical sexuality. No one has
carte blanche to bypass the justice dimension to sexuality, for the justice
dimension is as much a part of the cosmic law as is ecstasy itself. Without the “no” or the “wall” dimension
there is no true giving to a freely chosen partner—there is no commitment of
mutuality. One cannot be legitimately
welcomed by all—but only by one’s freely chosen love.
Brad and I spent the past few
days figuring out what it is that we do
want to create in our intimate relationships with each other. And here’s what we came up with. Our marriage serves us when we are not serving it. In other words—when we use this “safe space”
of marriage to create “bonds of love” rather than “bondage” then the marriage
serves us. Marriage can be a beautiful
“safe haven” that protects us from the storms of life and a “home-base” to
share our life experiences from.
Marriage also can be used as a system of “checks and balances” because
what one partner may not see, the
other partner may see clearly. (Haven’t
you heard the rumor that “love is blind?”
Well, it isn’t a rumor—it’s an absolute truth!) And so it’s good to check in with your
partner not just periodically, but constantly
to communicate extensively about what
either of you are feeling. And feelings
are important here—not just the good ones—but all feelings are important.
They are indicators of what’s going on in the emotional (energy in
motion) body. And painful feelings are a
good indicator that something’s wrong
and needs to be attended to. So never discount your feelings.
Another thing we came up with
as part of our re-creation is that our marriage structure has room for
expansion. But we are choosing to be
“equally yoked” as we move forward together
in this expansion process. We both like
the idea of expanding ourselves in other relationships and exploring uncharted
sexual territory—but without the terrorist attack!
I’d like to conclude this
Heartsong Good Newsletter with a Heartsong
written by my favorite prophet and soul-mate. Notice the description in the third verse
concerning 9/11.
Rhymes and Reasons
So you
speak to me of sadness and the coming of the winter,
Fear
that is within you now that seems to never end,
And the
dreams that have escaped you and a hope that you’ve forgotten
And you
tell me that you need me now and you want to be my friend,
And you
wonder where we’re going, where’s the rhyme and where’s the reason,
And
it’s you cannot accept it is here we must begin
To seek
the wisdom of the children and the graceful way of flowers in the wind.
For the
children and the flowers are my sisters and my brothers,
Their
laughter and their loveliness would clear a cloudy day.
Like
the music of the mountains and the colors of the rainbow
They’re
a promise of the future and a blessing for today.
Though
the cities start to crumble and the towers fall around us
The sun
is slowly fading and it’s colder than the sea.
It is
written: from the desert to the mountains they shall lead us.
By the
hand and by the heart, they will comfort you and me.
In
their innocence and trusting, they will teach us to be free.
For the
children and the flowers are my sisters and my brothers,
Their
laughter and their loveliness would clear a cloudy day.
And the
song that I am singing is a prayer for nonbelievers
Come
and stand beside us we can find a better way.
(John Denver)
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