9/1/7- Surrendering to Oneness

Surrendering to Oneness

9/1/7

Life intrigues me.  Sometimes I think I have it all figured out and then it throws me a curve ball.  I’ll admit I deserve the curve balls because being willing to play in the game of life means you’re willing to be present with everything.  Like this weekend, for instance.

I was all excited to go to an “Awakening Intensive” with Ken, a Deeksha or “Oneness Blessing Giver” on Saturday.  I had gotten work off and paid the $80 to attend with the anticipation of an incredibly powerful spiritual gathering.  Was I ever wrong.  The “Intensive” turned into an intensely mundane experience of Ken attempting to “fix” everyone of their “brokenness.” I’ve been through enough of these “processes” to find them anything but worthwhile.  In fact the last one I attended, I asked the processor quite frankly—What is it you get when you over-process people—baloney!  When I insisted I wasn’t broken and didn’t need processing, Ken insisted that I was.  Then it turned into an ugly argument.  I should have left (as I slept through a good part of it) but I wanted to get my “money’s worth.”  I did, however, connect somewhat with Ken after the class, attempting to clear up my feelings.  But I realized more and more that we were on totally different pages and my attempt at “oneness” was futile.  I surrendered.

Then the following Sunday morning, I woke up excited to hike to the Hot Springs.  But Brad, looking out the window at the cloudy skies, insisted that it was going to be a “bad day to hike to the Hot Springs.”  That and he had stubbed his toe the previous day and it was aching.  Applying the same principles of “contrast” and “choice” as I did the previous weekend, I began getting dressed and my backpack ready for the hike.

“That’s cool.  You should stay home and rest.  I really want some time hiking alone today,” I calmly remarked, reassuring him of his choices.  At that, he reconsidered his choices, and then started getting ready himself.  Soon we were off on a glorious day hiking to the Hot Springs.  Again, I anticipated meeting some great people and having an “incredibly spiritual gathering” as we’d had the past few times we’d gone, but instead we met up with some “regulars” and discussed “small-talk.”  The weather was fabulous, however, and it really didn’t matter much.  I still came away with the same rapturous afterglow I have each time I commune with Mother Earth and Heavenly Father.  But the question still remains.  Where is this “oneness” everyone is always talking about and when do we begin to experience it?

Then it hit me suddenly, a few days later—the curve ball I was telling you about.  Duh?  It’s all oneness.  Whether it’s the Kens, the broken people, the hot springs regulars, the Brads—it’s all part of the oneness we call “God”—and I’m all part of it too.  I’m only broken, when I think I’m separate, and want something other than what is.   Not only that but here’s the big cosmic joke.  We’re not in charge!  No matter how much we think we are “the creators,” no matter how hard we work at the Law of Attraction or put together our intentional manifestation worksheets and vision boards—the reality is that there is a Factor X called “God” that we must factor into every equation.  And that, my dearly beloveds, is a HUGE factor.  We can’t fight it, bargain with it, control it, manipulate it, ignore it, or any of the things we think we can do to affect God. That is the EGO speaking, or in other words—Edging God Out.  The only thing we CAN do is surrender to it.  If I can be present each and every moment with “what is” and not be resistant to it but grateful for it, then I truly get what God is.  And believe it or not—God is love.  Pure and simple.  God is nothing more or less than love.          .

I knew I knew this all along.  I’d even written a chapter in my book, Heartsong about it called, “The At-one-ment.”  I got out the chapter and started to read:

One day as I was listening to a tape (recorded at the last and final Windstar Symposium), reminiscing on how powerfully this one song had affected me when I was there in person.  The words to this incredible love song again hit me like no other.  No title had been announced, so I simply named it "John's Song."       

                        In this magic hour of softening light              

                        The moments in between the day and the night

                        The instant when all shadows disappear

                        The distance in between the love and the fear

                        There's a longing deep within the wandering soul

                        It's like the half that understands it once was whole

                        Like the two who only dream of being one

                        Like the moon whose only light is in the sun

                        There's a danger in forever looking outside

                        You start to believe that all your prayers have been denied

                        And you forget the sound of your own name

                        Thus begins the suffering and pain

                        I wanted an answer

                        I wanted a way

                        I wanted to know just what to do

                        And what to say

                        I wanted a reason

                        I want to know why

                        Can there never be heaven right here on earth

                        And peace inside?

                        Inside my heart

                        Deep in my soul

                        Within each part

                        And in the whole

                        There’s a promise in the journeys of the mind

                        You begin to believe that there are miracles you will find

                        And that someday you’ll remember who you are

                        The seed within a bright and shining star

                        It’s like the flame that lives within each hungering heart

                        That only awaits the gift of love for it to start

                        Into a fire that burns forever endlessly

                        Like the river that can’t help but meet the sea

                        In the moments in between the dark and the dawn

                        In the space between the silence and the song

                        Suddenly the mystery is clear

                        Love is only letting go of fear

                        Love is the answer

                        Love is the way

                        Love is in knowing just what to do

                        And what to say

                        Love is the reason

                        Love is the why

                        Love is in heaven right here on earth

                        And peace inside

                        Inside your heart

                        Deep in your soul

                        Within each part

                        And in the whole

After the usual shedding of tears over the intimate journey John always takes me into the communion of hearts, a profound feeling of revelation started to flood my consciousness, bringing me into a mystical feeling of oneness with John and my Creator.

Divine revelation started to flow into my mind…Heavenly Father—the Creator, Jesus Christ—the Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit—the Testifier, though represented as three were one entity manifest in different personages or roles.   That one entity called "God" was attempting to court us all back into oneness with him/her.  We were all there in the beginning with God as part of the Holy Spirit essence—like seeds within a bright and shining star.  Our very being, our very make-up, our very DNA was and is God-substance, God-created, God-spawned; and like seeds from their primary source, we had been planted down here on earth to see if we would sprout, flower, and produce fruit.  The only problem was—we hadn’t a clue as to what this mystical experience was all about until...yes, until we became firmly established in good soil and began to grow...and blossom...and then start to produce fruit.  We hadn't a clue that we were God-seed until we produced it for ourselves and became as God!

Then the thoughts continued to become clearer.  No, we had been given a clue—in fact there were a myriad of clues and metaphors all around us about who we are and what are final destiny is.  And the biggest clue was the life of Jesus Christ, the supreme example of what divine, unconditional love was all about.  That love wasn't just a feeling of the heart, but was a committed act of benevolence—a totally unselfish act of complete and total compassion, caring…love.

Yes, love is the answer, love is the way.  Jesus Christ—God incarnate—showed us the way by hanging upon the cross in a supreme act of compassion to demonstrate the at-one-ment.  He offered a way for us to repent (turn around) from all of our sins (separations within) and become whole again.  The image of the cross came into my mind and what a simple yet profound metaphor it is.  The two arms or poles come together at one intersection, one point of contact...and the profound thought came to me that at that point of intersection was the very heart of Jesus placed as he hung upon it.  At this point of Christ-consciousness, of unconditional love, of balance, of beauty—everything comes together in oneness.

I thought of how all paradoxes in life, or seemingly opposite points of view, all have their point of intersection contained in the cross.  John had sung so beautifully about some of these paradoxes in his song.  How light and darkness had their point of intersection in the moments of dusk and dawn—that mystical, magical hour of twilight when the birds and creatures of the earth sing their prayers to their creator.  The inspiration that comes to a singer in that space between the silence and the song.  Two lovers become one in the most delightful experience available to us—the marriage act or consummation.

The divine revelation continued—that this was what relationship was all about—these divine “marriage-acts” of God.  All dichotomies, all contradictions, all opposites, all paradoxes, all differences of opinions—all come together in divine consummation.  The word “consummation” came to mind, so I looked it up in the dictionary:

Consummation:

1.     To bring to completion; to complete; achieve.

2.     To perfect.

3.     To complete by intercourse; said of marriage.

           

The cross—the mystical point of intersection where all things come together in intimate consummation—is where all miracles happen.  It is where completion, perfection happens.

            The consummation between the sun and rain produced the miracle of rainbows.

            The consummation between seed and soil produced the miracle of life.

            The consummation between hot and cold produced the comfort of warmth.

            The consummation between ocean and land produced delightful beaches and coastlines.

My favorite seasons—Spring and Fall—were the consummation between Summer and Winter.

            The consummation between food and taste-buds produced the deliciousness of taste.

            The consummation between your fingers and skin produced the sensation of touch.

The consummation between music and lyrics produced the wonderment of song.

My mind went racing on, thinking about all the miracles produced from the marriage between paradoxes or seemingly opposites.  And then the thought came to me—that this was the truth in all relationship conflict—that it was simply our belief in polarities that kept us apart in a state of separation or "sin."  But the real "sin" was our belief system that fixed the illusion in our minds that we are "polarized" against each other—like the north and south ends of a pole—when we are in disagreement.  In reality, we had just chosen a fixed position on one or the other arm of the cross.  But if we could just realize (real eyes) our false belief system and see instead that divine point of intersection on the cross where all paradoxes, all points of view, all differences of opinion can be resolved.  Then we would find the perfect truth, balance, beauty…and love…and a hope for healing, wholeness, and holiness for this fragmented world.

For example, if one person in a relationship has taken an ultra-conservative viewpoint about cutting down timber, believing it wrong to cut down any trees to sustain a joyful existence, and he was put in relationship with another person who took an ultra-liberal stance that man has every right to take whatever resources he deems necessary in order to sustain a joyful existence, then any rational person could see that there is a balance between these two arguments.  And if the two parties agree that perhaps they need to surrender their fixed position on either the conservative or liberal arm of the cross, then they can come to that place of peace, resolution, consummation...the at-one-ment contained in the intersection of the two.

And coming to that place of at-one-ment is just a matter of communicating effectively our own particular viewpoints and issues surrounding those views so that they can be acknowledged, honored, respected—and then surrendered if necessary, to come to that perfect place of peace...of Christ-consciousness.  Yes, that is where we all want and need to be—the Christ-consciousness perspective contained in that point of intersection on the cross.  That perfect point of at-one-ment—the heart of the matter. 

How all conflict could be erased, all fighting resolved, and all wars prevented, if we would all chose in all relationships, in every moment of our lives to surrender to the Christ-consciousness point of view contained in the cross. And if our position or view-point is already there, then there is no need for us to move or change.

I thought about some of the volatile issues that were dividing us individually and as a nation.  Abortion, for instance; one segment of society has chosen a conservative "pro-life" viewpoint, while another segment of society has chosen a liberal "pro-choice" viewpoint.  But I believe there is balance between these two arguments by acknowledging and respecting each, and then by finding the place of agreement and consummation.  For me, Christ-consciousness is acknowledged in the popular slogan: "Pro-choice before conception—Pro-life after conception" as it acknowledges and honors both points of view—and the unborn child.   I thought about some of the popular slogans I'd heard capturing this image of the cross:

                        Unity in diversity

                        Walk your talk

                        Think globally, act locally

                        Don't think you or me.  Think we.

And some of my favorite scriptures came to mind:

            I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending. (Rev. 1:8)

            Faith without works is dead. (James 2:17)

            The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. (2 Cor. 3:6)        

            Weak things of the world shall break down the strong. (D&C 1:19)

            Spirit and element inseparably connected receive a fullness of joy. (D&C 93:33)

I thought about the concept of male and female energies coming together in the mystical consummation of marriage and how this concept was taught in practically all religions.  The yin/yang of Taoism; the Shakti/Shiva of Hinduism; the Serifot in the Jewish Kabbala; the expansive/contractive energies in Cosmology—all were examples of the same metaphor, the concept of the cross.

The male, yang, Shiva, contractive energy represents the vertical arm of the cross; in Kabbalic terms, understanding, judgment, victory; the rational mind that is grounded from heaven into the earth like a huge lightning rod, the erect phallus, and the cosmic elements of fire and earth.

The female, yin, Shakti, expansive energy represents the horizontal arm of the cross; in Kabbalic terms, wisdom, mercy, glory; the intuitive and receptive mind, the elements air and water, and the open female vagina.

Yes, God uses all of his/her exquisite, glorious metaphors to court us back into that mystical marriage of communion with him/her.  All we have to do is give up our resistance and surrender all of our illusions of separations, consenting to the marriage act of allowing our finite souls to be joined with his/her infinite oneness...or at-one-ment.

            “Like the river that can’t help but meet the sea.”

 

Again, I was transformed back to John’s mystical, untitled song..."Suddenly the mystery is clear.  Love is only letting go of fear."

Yes, fear is what keeps us trapped in the illusion of our separation—our fears of letting go of past, present and future pain, fears of change, fears of the unknown, fears of being wrong, fears of making a mistake, fears of not being loved—but most of all, fears of separation, which ironically keeps us in this awful state of separation.  And so what is the answer to getting out of the misery of separation?  Surrendering to love.  Surrendering to the consummation of perfect love.

                        Love is the answer,

                        Love is the way.

                        Love is in knowing just what to do

                        And what to say.

                        Love is the reason,

                        Love is the why.

                        Love is in heaven right here on earth

                        And peace inside...

And then I contemplated my own perfect place of beauty, my own heaven on earth and how it had been so prophetically, poetically named—Higher Ground.

I’ve been on a journey to find myself ever since I left “my own heaven on earth” called Higher Ground.  I’ve walked down many paths of so-called “enlightenment” but none has brought me any closer to enlightenment than what I’ve experienced living on the land with my ten beautiful children and my loving co-partners, Kurt and Christy.  I’ve tried to enroll others in my dream of “Higher Ground” or “heaven on earth” but few seem to want to listen.  There doesn’t seem to be any passion to create anything other than “what is.” 

And so I must resign myself to what is and be content and appreciate the present moment.  But still there’s a “longing deep within this wandering soul” and there’s “a flame that lives within this hungering heart” that still reaches for Higher Ground.  Namaste—Janae    P.S. I just got another cosmic joke.  My favorite earring that I lost almost a week ago just showed up.  I actually said a prayer last night to find it—and just now I found it in a very unlikely place.  Maybe prayer is the answer! And so tonight, in gratitude, I’ll say some mighty prayers for you, me and Higher Ground.  Amen.